How can he not care, at just a snap of a finger, just all of a sudden not care. He says that he still does, but obviously he does not. Just a stone cold face, never smiling – not at me. No emotion at all, not a hint of sorrow. Just this is how things are, and fuck you.

I love him to death, to the point that I don’t know what to do. All I can think about is him. And whenever I do, its all I can do to keep myself from crying, crying because I miss him. And its all my fault. Every little bit of it, and nothing I can do to make it right.

Nothing in the world that I could ever do, to make it one tiny little bit better. All I want to do, is hug him, and be hugged, held, kissed. Forgiven. Apparently I never forgive people. And apparently I’m a horrible person. Everyone says thats not true, but thats what he said, and I hate to admit it but I value his opion more than anyone elses. Hes my world, and hes gone… and so too thus is my world.

What am I going to do now… Now that I’m living alone. I feel like an empty shell now, just going through the motions. Can’t eat or drink, hardly sleep. I feel sick inside, and all I want to do now is cry. I love him too much, can’t believe that I’ve lost him.

I just dont’ know what to do now. Don’t have the slightest clue… All I want to do is lay down and die… make it all go away… Just make the pain stop, make it stop hurting.

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